Bitter and Sweet

“Till sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.” ~ Thomas Watson

There was a time in my life when sin was so sweet. It felt so good to do things some part of me knew was wrong even if I didn't know why.  

Hebrews 11:25  Moses

choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than

 to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.

Above, the Word of God says (regarding Moses) that sin can taste sweet for awhile, but there comes a time when we'll recognize that what we are doing is not good for us.  Which feels...just terrible.  Especially if- like me at that point- you aren't living with God in your life already.  I wasn't saved, but I started to feel this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that was whispering to me 

"you are mine, you were created for more than this"

  
That alone proves to me that God doesn't always feel like soft flittering butterflies in your stomach.  Sometimes, He's more like a punch to the gut.  


So what did I do when I felt this sound (that's how I describe it...it was a voice that I felt and didn't hear).  I pushed into doing more things that I knew were bad for me.  WHY?????  you are probably asking.  I have no idea.  I think I knew something had to give.  A change had to happen and it would either be for the worse (which I can't imagine) or for the better (which was ANYTHING but where I was and what I was doing to myself).  

“All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s

 paths to follow our own” Isaiah 53:6a 

But it's hard to take a step in the right direction when you can't see what's ahead.  It's so much easier to stay on the path you've always been on, but it's WORTH IT to seek out the path less traveled.  And maybe it's the path less traveled BY YOU.  For me, I had never really had a foot on that path for real.  A few times, I pretended to be but mostly I kept jumping into the jungle, getting torn up by the vines and briars all in a quest to go my own way.  (insert Go Your Own Way lyrics by Fleetwood Mac into your brain here... you're welcome)  

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you

 that you should go and bear fruit, and that  your fruit should

 remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He

 may give you. John 15:16

I CHOSE YOU!  It makes me want to weep. Even when I wasn't choosing Him, He was choosing me.  Even when I wasn't speaking to Him, He was speaking to me.  How completely undeserving.  How completely God.