Friday, May 4, 2012

His love just tears me up

I know God's love will never run out.  It's a fact that comes easy to me and I never worry about Him getting fed up with me.  A lot of people secretly worry that they can fail one too many times and God will just throw His hands up in despair and say "this one couldn't be saved."  But what I worry most about is my response to that unfailing love.

Sometimes, it probably resembles a yawn...

I mean, when I consciously think about it or during worship, YES, I am all about thanking Him for it, on my knees, coming undone from the inside out.  But in living my life, do I show it?  I want the knowledge of His love to be so integrated into my being that I can't go to church, or order a burger, or sweep the floors, or tuck in my kids without each moment reminding me that I GET to receive this love and I GET to love Him back.  Undeserved.  Here is a confession:  I'm glad God doesn't love me the way I love my kids.  With conditions I don't even realize I'm putting on them and depending on my moods and hormones and if I woke up on time.


1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.


God IS love.  So, there is no way He gives any less than 100% of what love means.  I love that.  


Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us



Worse than not being as blown away as I should be, I treat His love as if I deserve it. I don't.  Or that it's expected.  This kind of love -the kind where someone dies in my place, steps in front of the bullet of pure sin - shouldn't be expected, the way I act.

I feel like I need to deserve it to receive it.  But grace bridges the gap between what is and what should be.  THANK YOU GOD!  Grace is so darned one-sided it's maddening.  I am simultaneously excited by and freaked out by the fact that I can't earn His love.   I want to earn it, but I'm scared I could never earn it (I couldn't).


Psalm 136:26 Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.


Forever.  No conditions.  


Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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