I was thinking about the Rocky Top's cheesesticks coming my way in about 2 hours and wanting to be stoked about them, but I'm full. I'm still happy they're coming, but it's not the same feeling as if I was starving.
It's hard to anticipate something when you're already filled up with something else.
Hunger sounds like something you want to avoid. You don't want to be hungry, right? But I was thinking, I don't want to be filled up with food I don't even like (a substitute) when driving to eat sushi! I wasted all that time, energy, money...er, room...on a whole bag of cheetos when I could have been hungry for a while longer and been able to enjoy what I was anticipating: SUSHI!
The hunger actually makes the Godzilla Roll worth it. So, of course I'm going to relate this to God. Didn't see that coming did ya? (I hope you caught that sarcasm because I was laying it on prettttty thick.)
I don't want to fill up with the world when I'm hungry because it's easier to ingest than God.
Substitutes that make me feel better for a time make the ultimate prize less sweet. TO ME. Of course God could never be sweeter or less sweet than He is right now, He rolls like the littlest bear's porridge. Yeah that was lame, but it made me giggle. So, it's ok to feel uncomfortable for a season when you know what is coming. It makes getting there and so much more worthwhile.
This was rambly TO SAY THE LEAST, but at least it's outta my head haha!
Words fail me pic
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Lessons from a child
This happens A LOT! When the kids are playing and paying no attention to me or fighting some battle with me and I stop because whoa. I just got schooled...by someone who doesn't even know algebra!
Zoe was doing homework and she kept messing up on purpose, just so she could erase her mistake and do it again. I was getting so aggravated (I wouldn't make a good God, huh?). I started to think about why she was doing this. It seemed so backwards and was taking up so much time that could be better spent, I don't know PLAYING!
2+2=7 Oops, no. Erase. 2+2=4 Bingo!
Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhh, GET ON WITH IT, ZOE! Suddenly, I had the ol' "ohhhhh" moment. I think I do this, too. Except with my life and with God. Sometimes I mess up just so I can erase the mess I've made, make it all neat and tidy and start over on the eraser bits of my past.
Why? It seems so counterproductive. It's because I'm a self-sabotager. If I know something is good for me, before I realize it I've gone out of my way to make sure I don't do that thing. I don't even know what this is about. Like with Zoe, I want to grab her hand and make her do it right the first time, because SHE CAN! I get sick of saying "focus Zoe" because it's not that she has a problem with focus, it's she not using it.
And well... I CAN! I can do these things that I think "normal" wives and "normal" moms do because they need to be done. Instead, I convince myself I'm just not that woman.
I can be that woman.
And I'm not talking about that woman, Miss Super Mom doing every activity under the sun and running every school event. There are some moms that thrive in that environment, but I wither. So I won't run in the direction of something that won't also be fun. But, I can do more than what I'm doing, period.
I'm sick of messing up so I can say "see, I just can't do it" and then I end up doing it right the 2nd time AFTER I've proven I can't do it. Oh people of the blog world, I AM INSANE!
Zoe was doing homework and she kept messing up on purpose, just so she could erase her mistake and do it again. I was getting so aggravated (I wouldn't make a good God, huh?). I started to think about why she was doing this. It seemed so backwards and was taking up so much time that could be better spent, I don't know PLAYING!
2+2=7 Oops, no. Erase. 2+2=4 Bingo!
Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhh, GET ON WITH IT, ZOE! Suddenly, I had the ol' "ohhhhh" moment. I think I do this, too. Except with my life and with God. Sometimes I mess up just so I can erase the mess I've made, make it all neat and tidy and start over on the eraser bits of my past.
Why? It seems so counterproductive. It's because I'm a self-sabotager. If I know something is good for me, before I realize it I've gone out of my way to make sure I don't do that thing. I don't even know what this is about. Like with Zoe, I want to grab her hand and make her do it right the first time, because SHE CAN! I get sick of saying "focus Zoe" because it's not that she has a problem with focus, it's she not using it.
And well... I CAN! I can do these things that I think "normal" wives and "normal" moms do because they need to be done. Instead, I convince myself I'm just not that woman.
I can be that woman.
And I'm not talking about that woman, Miss Super Mom doing every activity under the sun and running every school event. There are some moms that thrive in that environment, but I wither. So I won't run in the direction of something that won't also be fun. But, I can do more than what I'm doing, period.
I'm sick of messing up so I can say "see, I just can't do it" and then I end up doing it right the 2nd time AFTER I've proven I can't do it. Oh people of the blog world, I AM INSANE!
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