I'm going to talk about hell.
dun dun DUNNNNNN
Ahhhhh, the topic that makes people think Christians are crazy...well, one of the topics *wink*wink*
I was in the shower, pondering the eternal and for the first time ever, I REALLY thought about how I felt pre-salvation. How did the Courtney I used to be respond to life's difficulties and depression and relationship issues? HOW???? What did I say to myself? What kind of people did I let counsel me? I can't even remember. Isn't that weird? How did I justify life's hard times? Who did I thank for a beautiful sky? Where did I think passion came from...or drive, or vision?
Then I thought about how I could have gone to
and deserved hell.
and deserved hell.
I was terrible. But, even if I had been "good" as the world sees "good," we're all just born ready to sin. Not even unbelievers can disagree with that. I mean look at us, look at what humans do to one another. Don't even get me STARTED on toddlers... *wink*
A few months ago, my friend Jen shared with me a perspective on hell that broke her apart and I can't get it out of my head. She left an early morning voicemail on my phone, weeping and mourning for people who don't know Jesus. She relayed to me a true perspective-altering vision she had that morning.
She saw herself in hell. Then, the vision switched and she imagined people on the street burning as if already there, in hell. She challenged me with "what if we could see who the people destined for hell were? How would that vision change how we interact with them?" I thought that was really profound because when you see a man on fire, your gut reaction is to help. Nobody can watch that and do nothing. Yet...what are we doing?
A few months ago, my friend Jen shared with me a perspective on hell that broke her apart and I can't get it out of my head. She left an early morning voicemail on my phone, weeping and mourning for people who don't know Jesus. She relayed to me a true perspective-altering vision she had that morning.
She saw herself in hell. Then, the vision switched and she imagined people on the street burning as if already there, in hell. She challenged me with "what if we could see who the people destined for hell were? How would that vision change how we interact with them?" I thought that was really profound because when you see a man on fire, your gut reaction is to help. Nobody can watch that and do nothing. Yet...what are we doing?
What if there are people consumed all around us and we just can't see the flames?
Which led me to this thought: If being separated from God is hell (right? THAT is a part of what hell is) then where I was-before accepting Jesus-was truly a hell on earth.
As humans we often need a visual so God described to us the most extreme outward pain imaginable (which is real by the way...burning flesh, broken bodies, gnashing of teeth) to represent what goes on within us separated from Him. I bet the outward pain is nothing compared to separation from Love Himself.
To be abundantly clear, so as not to mislead you, the outward/physical pain in hell is real. It will really happen, in ways that we cannot even fathom. Examples from the bible:
*weeping and gnashing of teeth in Matthew 8:12
*spiritual and bodily destruction in Matthew 10:28
*fiery furnaces in Matthew 13:42, 50
*unquenchable fires in Mark 9:48-49
*endless torments in Luke 16:23-24
^from A fun little resource on hell
In addition to that physical pain, there will be abandonment from God. While researching, someone sent me the following link he titled, A fun little resource on hell and it had a good description on what separation from God really means:
While it’s true that hell is a place of untold physical pain and suffering (fire, scorching, being cut to pieces), I think we often overlook the mental agony of being completely forsaken—abandoned for all eternity. After all, the most chilling cry from our Lord as He suffered God’s wrath on the cross stemmed not from physical pain, but from being forsaken by the Father. Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?” (Matt. 27:46).
As humans we often need a visual so God described to us the most extreme outward pain imaginable (which is real by the way...burning flesh, broken bodies, gnashing of teeth) to represent what goes on within us separated from Him. I bet the outward pain is nothing compared to separation from Love Himself.
To be abundantly clear, so as not to mislead you, the outward/physical pain in hell is real. It will really happen, in ways that we cannot even fathom. Examples from the bible:
*weeping and gnashing of teeth in Matthew 8:12
*spiritual and bodily destruction in Matthew 10:28
*fiery furnaces in Matthew 13:42, 50
*unquenchable fires in Mark 9:48-49
*endless torments in Luke 16:23-24
^from A fun little resource on hell
In addition to that physical pain, there will be abandonment from God. While researching, someone sent me the following link he titled, A fun little resource on hell and it had a good description on what separation from God really means:
While it’s true that hell is a place of untold physical pain and suffering (fire, scorching, being cut to pieces), I think we often overlook the mental agony of being completely forsaken—abandoned for all eternity. After all, the most chilling cry from our Lord as He suffered God’s wrath on the cross stemmed not from physical pain, but from being forsaken by the Father. Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?” (Matt. 27:46).
John MacArthur explained the significance of God forsaking the Son in relation to hell: “This is a reminder to all sinners that while hell is the full fury of God’s personal punishment presence, He will never be there to comfort. He will never be there to show sympathy. He will never bring relief. […] it is both the punishment of God and the absence of comfort. […] That’s hell—punishment without relief (“The King Crucified: Consummation at Calvary”). As the Puritan Thomas Vincent put it, “Not only will the unbeliever be in hell, but hell will be in him too.”
There are people all around us, burning up in a hell on earth.
What are we gonna do about it, Church?
"Not only will the unbeliever be in hell, but hell will be in him too." Wow. We worry about people going to hell after death, but we don't worry as much about people who are currently in a hell while alive. Separated from their Creator.
This way of thinking about hell turned the Courtney I used to be into the fire-consumed person on the street, burning alive and no one could see it. The one going to hell who heard people speak ABOUT Jesus but never met Him. No one sat me down and asked, "do you know Him? Do you have any questions?"
And I was confused about it all. In middle school, I asked a Christian friend what salvation meant while we were tanning by the pool. I felt a nervous pressure because I didn't want to go to hell. It was an offhand, unplanned question, but once it was out I felt a crushing weight, waiting for the answer. She didn't have one but she was confident in her own salvation. I laid by the pool that day, filled with fear because she couldn't articulate what she knew. All I was concerned about was a get out of hell free card and she couldn't tell me where to go to get one.
The get out of hell free card mentality stuck with me until this year. Even after salvation, I yearned to KNOW that I was saved. I wanted a Heavenly punch card that said "chill out child, you're in." Sometimes I still fight with that fear. I get scared that while I assume I'm on that narrow road, I'm actually lazily meandering down the wide path along with other American Christians. I want to take a jack hammer to that road to get people's attention. I'm getting off track...
I always had a preoccupation with hell. I would pray before bed, "Forgive me for my sins, all of them," because I heard once that if you didn't ask for forgiveness in that way every night, if you skipped ONE time and died in your sleep, you would go to hell (which is not true). I didn't know if there was a god, I wasn't even speaking to anyone, but I didn't want to take any chances. It was a chant. I even asked for forgiveness for the things I knew I would do the next day. It was all jumbled up in my brain.
As a high school cheerleader, we would hold hands and recite The Lord's Prayer before games and I just closed my eyes and moved my lips so no one would see that I had no idea what they were talking about. The words....they made no sense to me. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done...why are we saying this at a football game again...???" After my freshman year, I had it memorized.
That's what God was to me. Memorizing pieces of things I'd heard and desperate chants I didn't understand. I didn't know if He was real, but I just wasn't taking the chance on assuming he wasn't. I spent more time worrying about hell than most Christians do praying.
This way of thinking about hell turned the Courtney I used to be into the fire-consumed person on the street, burning alive and no one could see it. The one going to hell who heard people speak ABOUT Jesus but never met Him. No one sat me down and asked, "do you know Him? Do you have any questions?"
I was an overhearer of the gospel, not a hearer.
Overhearing is not enough. Hoping that people will just see the way you live and be changed is not enough.
And I was confused about it all. In middle school, I asked a Christian friend what salvation meant while we were tanning by the pool. I felt a nervous pressure because I didn't want to go to hell. It was an offhand, unplanned question, but once it was out I felt a crushing weight, waiting for the answer. She didn't have one but she was confident in her own salvation. I laid by the pool that day, filled with fear because she couldn't articulate what she knew. All I was concerned about was a get out of hell free card and she couldn't tell me where to go to get one.
I always had a preoccupation with hell. I would pray before bed, "Forgive me for my sins, all of them," because I heard once that if you didn't ask for forgiveness in that way every night, if you skipped ONE time and died in your sleep, you would go to hell (which is not true). I didn't know if there was a god, I wasn't even speaking to anyone, but I didn't want to take any chances. It was a chant. I even asked for forgiveness for the things I knew I would do the next day. It was all jumbled up in my brain.
As a high school cheerleader, we would hold hands and recite The Lord's Prayer before games and I just closed my eyes and moved my lips so no one would see that I had no idea what they were talking about. The words....they made no sense to me. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done...why are we saying this at a football game again...???" After my freshman year, I had it memorized.
That's what God was to me. Memorizing pieces of things I'd heard and desperate chants I didn't understand. I didn't know if He was real, but I just wasn't taking the chance on assuming he wasn't. I spent more time worrying about hell than most Christians do praying.
I was burning alive and headed toward an eternity of burning in death, while people around me talked about youth camps and Christian concerts with weird names. I couldn't relate to that and it excluded me.
I was like, "what the heck is an ichthus?" Is it a condition?
I don't think they even knew.
I needed someone to grab me, see that I was burning and somehow be immune to the flames.
Which is what Jesus does.
He makes us unharmed when we touch the ones burning because we are HIS burning ones...burning with love and passion and hope. We aren't harmed by enemy fire because when God is within us, we have a different kind of fire running through us. A more powerful fire. A fire so hot that it extinguishes the flames of anyone else we touch. The flames of hell may as well be ice when confronted with the fire of His Holy Spirit.
Which is what Jesus does.
He makes us unharmed when we touch the ones burning because we are HIS burning ones...burning with love and passion and hope. We aren't harmed by enemy fire because when God is within us, we have a different kind of fire running through us. A more powerful fire. A fire so hot that it extinguishes the flames of anyone else we touch. The flames of hell may as well be ice when confronted with the fire of His Holy Spirit.
So let's eradicate hell. Here on earth and in eternity. Let's stop its grip by telling people that Jesus already did. He loosened death's grip on us so that we could stand and escape it. BUT WE HAVE TO STAND! He did the hard part all we have to do is respond and shout at everyone else, ARISE!!! YOU'RE FREE!!! JESUS LOOSENED DEATH'S GRIP!!!
All they have to do is GET UP! Sounds easy right? So why isn't it? I wish I could go back to the Courtney of 15 years ago and ask her. I don't know why I got up and others don't. It's so devastating and yet I'm so thankful.
But some people will lie there in death's lifeless, open hand never getting up. And they'll die in the unwrapped hand of death, never knowing that they're free.
All they have to do is GET UP! Sounds easy right? So why isn't it? I wish I could go back to the Courtney of 15 years ago and ask her. I don't know why I got up and others don't. It's so devastating and yet I'm so thankful.
It's crazy. And the only thing that can fight crazy is crazy love. Which you and I have. In His strength and with His words we stand together and fight with a love that doesn't make sense.
We are waging war on this earth and waging war with hell.
With God's weapons. In God's strength.
With God's weapons. In God's strength.
Sometimes people think women are supposed to be the weak ones, but we aren't. We lack nothing in Christ, WE LACK NO STRENGTH and we are relentlessly fighting hell until we die on this earth and enter into an eternity in the presence of our God. We are the mighty women of the church and we are women waging war.
Esther said, "If I must die, I must die."
Courtney says, "If I must die, I must die."
We all die. Let's go out bringing people
with us to His kingdom.
Let us show people hope on earth.
with us to His kingdom.
Let us show people hope on earth.
Which leads me to a poem I'll share at the end of this blog. It took me a really long time. Just words, not sentences or phrases or complete thoughts. But it's right. I wrote it for our women's ministry and it came as I thought about the brave women who meet together and say, "HERE WE ARE LORD, SEND US!!! Our strength is in You and Your weapons are ready in our arms. We are wearing Your armor and we are willing. We aren't fighting those that disagree with us, we're standing with our Lord and fighting hell on behalf of those who love and hate us."
Every main word of this poem begins with W and I have NO IDEA the significance in that except God told me to write it that way. So I did. And it's weird but whatever. I don't even care.
These words are you; they're us.
women waging war
wild warriors
wounded worshipers
worn-out wilderness wanderers
women waging war
weight-bearing weepers
wisdom whispering word-weavers
winter withstanding witnesses
women waging war
weakness-wearing walkers
wooers of wilting wall-flowers
world-wrestling
way-pointing
wall-wrecking
women waging war
