I Asked God "Why?" And He Answered

I want to tell you a story. Five or six years ago, I don’t even remember what all was going on, but it seemed that things were just piling up.  Hard things, just falling on my shoulders.  I reached a breaking point. I stood in my kitchen, screaming at God, counting off on my fingers ALL the things that were TOO MUCH. Why, God????  Why now? Why me? Why these things? Why so many things? I thought You were good, I thought if I trusted you, life would be easier!  

I (literally) screamed at the Creator of the universe in anger, “WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING AND WHEN IS IT GOING TO STOP?”

And He did the unexpected.

He answered me:

Stop asking. 

He told me to stop asking. I don’t know what it was about that answer but in itself, it was enough.  I looked around the room as if the kitchen could hear Him too and then I trusted that He knew what He was talking about.

I quit asking.  It was life changing. I didn’t even know why and figured I never would.  

*Skip to late 2015* 

I read a blog titled If I Only Knew Why (click here to read and I HIGHLY suggest you do).  The woman who writes it had already written a blog that changed my life called When God Does The Miracle We Didn't Ask For (and I know I say “changed my life” a lot but that’s ok.  Your life can be changed every single day if you let it). Her life holds so much grief and pain and she’s turned it into lessons for the rest of us.  My favorite thing. 

She writes about going through these things (loss of marriage, loss of health, loss of a child) and demanding answers to the WHYS. She explains it here: 

"I was certain that if I had an explanation for my trials, if I could understand God’s purposes in them, if I just had a reason, then I could have accepted my losses with more grace. And I’ve heard countless others say the same thing: If they only knew why, they would be able to move on.

Knowing why seems to be the elusive key that will somehow unlock all our pain. The key that will bring clarity and peace. Freedom.

Not knowing why, having to trust God in a senseless situation — when the world feels like it has exploded and we are left picking up the splintered fragments of our life — seems impossible.”

I immediately connected with what she was saying.  And a few paragraphs down came the life changing line: 

"I saw how my questions only fueled my agitation, I eventually surrendered my demand to understand. “

Over five years after God told me to “stop asking,” He showed me WHY He required that of me. It was for me.  It was because my questions were just fueling my agitation. I had to surrender the demand to understand why things were falling apart all around me.  Looking back, I think it was my first true surrender. 

My agitation wasn’t helping anything.  HIS PEACE changed everything.  I can’t have my own agitation and His peace at the same time.  I had to give one of them up. 

He knew what He was talking about.  Imagine that.  

Listen, if you’re reading this and God has asked you to do something that you don’t understand, just trust Him (and me) and DO IT. The longer you look around and ask why, the longer it will take to live in peace.  

If God tells you to forgive someone who has done something horrendous to you (and He has) then do it. If God tells you to move to China and cut off all communication with the outside world, do it. If God tells you to help that hobbling homeless woman across the street, do it. If God tells you to homeschool, do it.  If God tells you to write a book, do it. If God tells you to stop asking, then FOR THE LOVE stop asking. 

Go look up Vaneetha Rendall Risner (the author of the blogs I included) at danceintherain.com and read her stuff.  She KNOWS pain. She KNOWS Jesus. 

On Defending Your Truth

In reading Jesus' story, what has hit me this morning especially hard is that when He was mocked on the cross and people were being sarcastic in His pain, He didn't respond. They asked why - if he was a literal miracle worker - He didn't save himself, which of course alluded to the fact that He was NOT who He said He was. That He wasn't capable of miracles. He didn't defend Himself. HE KNEW the truth, HE KNEW what was coming, HE KNEW why...HE KNEW they would soon know. The end was more important than the present moment. The bigger picture was more important than making a defense for every comment with the little human energy He had left. He didn't have to defend the truth because the truth stood when He couldn't. And in a matter of days, many people would know and the shock of what was coming was the fuel that would push them to spread the word. In that moment, His quiet was louder than any earthly shout. HE DIDN'T HAVE TIME to address the naysayers, He had a bigger work to do. His energy was completely used up on the present moment. HIS PURPOSE. No lie or sarcastic comment will EVER touch purpose. It's so different from how we treat the truth today. As if we have to defend it to make it true. If you live your life in truth and people try to discount that verbally, you don't HAVE to defend it. You don't HAVE to waste the energy you have trying to make them see it. You speak your truth. You live your truth. Then you walk on. HOW FREEING IS THAT? As I was reading this, The Today Show was on in the background and I could hear them talking about presidential candidates bickering and I thought...man...how different would this be if they each just spoke their truths? They waste SO much energy defending what they believe that I actually don't even know what they believe. What is their truth? No one even knows. And we act all appalled at how they are behaving, but we are no different. We both defend our truth until its lost and demand that others defend theirs so that we can judge its worthiness. BUT WE CAN ALL CHANGE. Look at Jesus. Quit wasting so much energy defending yourself and just live whatever time you have left. I think if Jesus' teachings have taught me anything, it's that if we are defending something, may it be others. If our fists and voices are raised may it be against injustice. Mark 15:29 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “Aha! You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, 30 save yourself, and come down from the cross!” 31 So also the chief priests with the scribes mocked him to one another, saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. 32 Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe.” Mark 14:53 And they led Jesus to the high priest. And all the chief priests and the elders and the scribes came together. 54 And Peter had followed him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest. And he was sitting with the guards and warming himself at the fire. 55 Now the chief priests and the whole council[f] were seeking testimony against Jesus to put him to death, but they found none. 56 For many bore false witness against him, but their testimony did not agree. 57 And some stood up and bore false witness against him, saying, 58 “We heard him say, ‘I will destroy this temple that is made with hands, and in three days I will build another, not made with hands.’” 59 Yet even about this their testimony did not agree. 60 And the high priest stood up in the midst and asked Jesus, “Have you no answer to make? What is it that these men testify against you?”[g] 61 But he remained silent and made no answer. Again the high priest asked him, “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?” 62 And Jesus said, “I am, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven.” 63 And the high priest tore his garments and said, “What further witnesses do we need? 64 You have heard his blasphemy. What is your decision?” And they all condemned him as deserving death. 65 And some began to spit on him and to cover his face and to strike him, saying to him, “Prophesy!” And the guards received him with blows. He didn't answer to the accusations of others. Matthew 27:39 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads 40 and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” 41 So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, 42 “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way. Luke 23: 34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”[b] And they cast lots to divide his garments. 35 And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!” 36 The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine 37 and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” 38 There was also an inscription over him,[c] “This is the King of the Jews.” 39 One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him,[d] saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” 40 But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” 42 And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” 43 And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

"What Is this World Coming To?" - A Direct Quote From You

I know people are scared of what our world is coming to and what is happening, especially during this election year.  BUT. Remember this…

1. It’s not “coming to” anything, it’s always been this dark (even darker), we just haven’t had as many outlets to see it. (Facebook wasn’t around in the Medieval Times y’all). 

2. (the biggie) It’s weird to think that we can see darkness.  Darkness is "the partial or total absence of light," so really we’re missing something more than sensing something.  But when the dark is noticed, when the lack of light becomes scary, when we open our eyes to blackness, it can remind us to use our light to shine. Sometimes chaos jolts us into action. Sometimes it’s so dark, we feel incapable of doing anything about it. It’s SO dark, right? Makes you want to lie down and give into it while pulling up its heavy blanket and going to sleep forever.  But there is no darkness that is so deep that one little flicker of light can’t overtake it. ONE FLICKER, ONE SPARK, and everyone notices. It wakes people up.

Suddenly…hope. 

Light can overcome darkness but darkness cannot overcome light. 

DARK DOES NOT HAVE THAT POWER!  LIGHT DOES! 

Therefore, YOU DO.  Do you want to change the world that your children are born into? Then SHINE, BROTHERS AND SISTERS! DON’T YELL AT THE DARKNESS!  DON’T TALK ABOUT THE DARKNESS UNTIL YOU’RE AS DARK AS IT IS.  

SHINE!!!!!!

Our lights can dim and we can forget that shining is important, but when our eyes are open and all we see is darkness, we can stand up and say, “NO!  This is not ok and I’m going to shine a light on this darkness.” 

One light is great, one light can change everything, but what if we all shone together?   What if instead of using words that the dark understands (condemning, ugly, mean, hateful words) we use words that don’t make sense to it (accepting, beautiful, nice, loving words)? Now THAT will change the world and affect those surrounding the darkness even if not its source.  

SHINE, PEOPLE!!!!!

I serve a God that is FOR loving and overcoming darkness and serving and peace!  His message includes loving your enemies, even while they hate you. Even while they kill you (think Stephen and..ya know…Jesus). What about THAT makes sense? He taught us to forgive because it not only affects those you forgive, but it heals your OWN heart! 

Also, he said He wasn’t here to condemn people, but to SAVE people so maybe that should be on your mind also? It’s hard to shine while listing off reasons why the darkness sucks.  DEEP DOWN, EVERYONE KNOWS THE DARKNESS SUCKS.  You’ll never reach that deep inside of them to connect with that knowledge, so start with love.  Start with light.  Instead of banishing those thoughts (dark) just ignite a flame of light (love). 

go, be, love, shine

***

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 

John 1:5

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. 

Isaiah 58:10

“I have not come to condemn the world, but to save it.” 

John 3:17 

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” Matthew 5:44 

And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

Daniel 12:3

 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.

Romans 13:1