I Asked God "Why?" And He Answered

I want to tell you a story. Five or six years ago, I don’t even remember what all was going on, but it seemed that things were just piling up.  Hard things, just falling on my shoulders.  I reached a breaking point. I stood in my kitchen, screaming at God, counting off on my fingers ALL the things that were TOO MUCH. Why, God????  Why now? Why me? Why these things? Why so many things? I thought You were good, I thought if I trusted you, life would be easier!  

I (literally) screamed at the Creator of the universe in anger, “WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING AND WHEN IS IT GOING TO STOP?”

And He did the unexpected.

He answered me:

Stop asking. 

He told me to stop asking. I don’t know what it was about that answer but in itself, it was enough.  I looked around the room as if the kitchen could hear Him too and then I trusted that He knew what He was talking about.

I quit asking.  It was life changing. I didn’t even know why and figured I never would.  

*Skip to late 2015* 

I read a blog titled If I Only Knew Why (click here to read and I HIGHLY suggest you do).  The woman who writes it had already written a blog that changed my life called When God Does The Miracle We Didn't Ask For (and I know I say “changed my life” a lot but that’s ok.  Your life can be changed every single day if you let it). Her life holds so much grief and pain and she’s turned it into lessons for the rest of us.  My favorite thing. 

She writes about going through these things (loss of marriage, loss of health, loss of a child) and demanding answers to the WHYS. She explains it here: 

"I was certain that if I had an explanation for my trials, if I could understand God’s purposes in them, if I just had a reason, then I could have accepted my losses with more grace. And I’ve heard countless others say the same thing: If they only knew why, they would be able to move on.

Knowing why seems to be the elusive key that will somehow unlock all our pain. The key that will bring clarity and peace. Freedom.

Not knowing why, having to trust God in a senseless situation — when the world feels like it has exploded and we are left picking up the splintered fragments of our life — seems impossible.”

I immediately connected with what she was saying.  And a few paragraphs down came the life changing line: 

"I saw how my questions only fueled my agitation, I eventually surrendered my demand to understand. “

Over five years after God told me to “stop asking,” He showed me WHY He required that of me. It was for me.  It was because my questions were just fueling my agitation. I had to surrender the demand to understand why things were falling apart all around me.  Looking back, I think it was my first true surrender. 

My agitation wasn’t helping anything.  HIS PEACE changed everything.  I can’t have my own agitation and His peace at the same time.  I had to give one of them up. 

He knew what He was talking about.  Imagine that.  

Listen, if you’re reading this and God has asked you to do something that you don’t understand, just trust Him (and me) and DO IT. The longer you look around and ask why, the longer it will take to live in peace.  

If God tells you to forgive someone who has done something horrendous to you (and He has) then do it. If God tells you to move to China and cut off all communication with the outside world, do it. If God tells you to help that hobbling homeless woman across the street, do it. If God tells you to homeschool, do it.  If God tells you to write a book, do it. If God tells you to stop asking, then FOR THE LOVE stop asking. 

Go look up Vaneetha Rendall Risner (the author of the blogs I included) at danceintherain.com and read her stuff.  She KNOWS pain. She KNOWS Jesus.