The Community You Crave Isn't Real

Community. People crave it. 

No no, not THAT one!

They always have, but now it takes so much less effort to get a watered-down version at your keyboard that feels like enough. But "community lite" cannot be replicated in real life. In real life, it takes a lot of effort to maintain what you get online. And when people can’t maintain it, what do they do? They take off.  This can happen in a similar way within the church.

A church member we'll call Kyle (courtesy of Isaac's random name generator) gives up on his current church and--while complaining--blames them for not providing enough places for community to happen. Kyle blames the pastor for not fostering it enough when that's not his job.  It’s actually Kyle's job. So he lashes out at the very group of people brimming with community-potential instead of looking inside and discovering what community and relationships really are. WORK. And it may start within his own heart. But Kyle doesn't have time for all that and isn't willing to stick around and cultivate the meager beginnings of the community that is already there. (Because sometimes churches aren't good at "community" and they need help) He wants to just take off and go find one that already exists, the way he's imagining it.

But Kylerino quickly realizes that community takes work and work is hard. So he gives up community life altogether, as some do. It’s easy to love a podcast pastor or a church on TV because Kyle doesn’t have to deal with the people that are in it, he doesn’t have to serve alongside them. Kyle doesn't have to work at building relationships that may be hard. OF COURSE it's easier, Kyle! OF COURSE you like that better, Kyle! And when that pastor lets you down, you can just shake your head and change the channel. 

Just like we ARE the church and go TO church

We ARE community and are IN community 

WE ARE THE COMMUNITY WE SEEK

WE HAVE TO BE IT TO RECEIVE IT 

And often the work part comes first. 
It's a bummer Kyle, I know. 
Here's a coffee and a muffin, go ponder that in the corner. 

If you feel like Kyle, listen up. I'm throwing a hard truth atcha.  I know you want to feel support and be a part of a family and it's what we should want; but maybe you should be as/more concerned about fostering community OUTside of the church than INside of it. Including outsiders more than feeling included yourself. 

Kyle: I want to be fed
The Church: Feed other people 

Kyle: I want to be taken care of 
The Church: take care of other people 

You may be surprised where you find community. So come on back, Kyle, we aren't mad atcha and I hope you aren't mad at us. Let's figure this out together. If you're at another church, it's cool, just start serving and loving there. 

Let go of your idea of what community is and start BEing it. 
(BTW, I'm terrible at this concept of community so Kyle may as well be replaced with Courtney. God often gives me words that are WAY more for me than anyone else. Got it?)