What I don't want for my kids. A talk on happiness.

What I do not want for my kids: 

happiness

I don't need my kids to be happy adults. Do I want that?  Oh yeah. Too much to put into words. In fact, I love them so much I almost wish happiness for them over purpose. Almost. Rein it in, mama. 

What I'm thinking is, when they graduate from high school I don't care what they do. College?  Mission field?  Living as/with homeless people?  Retail?  Doctor? Child Advocate?  Foster mom/dad?  Pastor? Stylist to the stars? Writer? Military? Professional personal American Girl doll shopper? Professional Lego builder?  Professional head banger? (looking' at you, Willow)

I. Don't. Even. Care.  Realllllllllly.  I don't care.  Zoe's dream is to be a barista/photographer/cashier/poet hybrid.  Go!!  Do that!  If God puts it in your heart, RUN after it as fast and as focused as you can, loving all the people you encounter along the way.  There will NEVER be another Zoe Moriah and no one will EVER have the desires she has in her heart.  

Delight yourselves, my children!  He put those desires in you, so delight yourselves and he'll show you what they are. 

What I want is for them to bask in the lavish love of God and then spread that love around like the leftover glitter on my kitchen table.  Let that love fly! I want them to love God back. Hard. 

How?  Obedience. 

I want them to be so saturated in The Word that it is like a mixing of blood. When the blood of the Word mixes with the blood of their lives, the two can no longer be separated. I yearn for them to live that kind of love. The hard, dirty kind that scares most people off.  I want them to be in community with the type of people Jesus was in community with:  

all people

Whether that's in the courtroom or mission field or battlefield or the grocery store, I don't care. Whether they get there through college or NOT, I don't care. Truly. I may be one of the only parents that doesn't give a flip about college for college sake. 

As adults, what I want for them is love and obedience (to their Creator, not to their parents).  Because their Heavenly Father knows where they should go, who they should be without all of these worldly attachments that I have.  I want for them to live this life even better than their parents do. I don't care what the world tells them. 

I want contentment for them, not happiness. 

I want obedience for them, not an easy life.  

These are not always mutually exclusive, but they are not both guaranteed. 

I want them to know that they aren't owed happiness in life, but they owe obedience. 

Happiness is not the goal.

I want them to leave this earth just spent. Smelling like Jesus and hard work. Filled with happy thoughts but not relying on them. 

And I pray with EVERYTHING in me that I am strong enough to watch their lives play out without intervening and playing God.   

Lord, as my arms scoop them up and as their arms hug around my neck, remind me that my arms have to loosen and let go one day. It doesn't mean that our arms and necks won't ever be reunited (they better be!) but maybe the reunions will be further apart than their parents and grandparents would like, depending on where their feet are led.  But maybe we'll all live together!  Who knows?!?  That's the point.  Who knows?  Not any of us, that's for sure.  I'm excited to see it all play out. 

Lord, give me strength to watch them encounter unhappiness and not try to fix it, before I ask, "is this you, Lord?" 

I pray now for the strength to watch them learn and flounder and mess up and mess up and get it right and mess up more and hopefully recognize it.  Recognize purpose and love and Jesus. Everywhere.  And if they have to look for it, I pray that they'll keep their hands busy while they seek. I pray that they see the purpose in messing up and learning and they don't feel guilt about it.

I WANT LASTING JOY,  NOT FLEETING HAPPINESS FOR THEM! 

Joy that withstands heartache and joy that sticks around as they watch Your people in need. Joy that doesn't run at the first hint of fear or pain or unknowns (like their mama).  I want more for them than I have had so far. Be with them, Lord.  I know you are... 

Amen

Love,

Their mama

*****

James 1:22–25

But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don't obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. 

1 John 5:2–3

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.