Then, he started speaking TRUTH. My truth! Actually, I've never done this EVER, but it's from a series he teaches that I think I'm going to order. Yes, ORDER, from a TV preacher! There's a first time for everything... OK anyway, to get back to my reason for writing, here is what he said that made me stop channel surfing:
"If another person is the problem, then they become the solution."
I don't know why this struck me as profound because, while very true, wise words, I don't struggle with this. I have no issues with anyone...but wait...do I? Sigh.
(I do with Courtney Hutchinson...just a little...but it hasn't been on my mind)
This implies that if we continually blame people for what is their fault (which sounds like a legit way to live), then we rely on them to fix it. Either by discontinuing to hurt us, apologizing, or leaving our life.
1. Some people will never stop hurting us (even if it's you, hurting yourself)
2. So often, the one hurting us stops hurting us or leaves... but we're still hurt.
What we (I) need to realize, is that God is the solution. We need to: Let. Him. Solve. Only he can actually SOLVE it anyway. Anything else won't last.
That was a good word and I tucked it away for when I might need it, and then he said:
"The greatest failures and scars in your life, when given to God, can give the greatest glory to God."
That was another good word. Makes excellent sense. My youth pastor (Pastor Jim) always told me that my past was my greatest indication of my future ministry. It makes sense that the things you've struggled with, were done to you, happened through you, would eventually become a way to show Jesus to the world. It's your testimony and no one knows it better than you. You have a testimony just waiting to set someone free. See Revelation 12:11
But what came next near about rocked my little world.
"Jesus didn't die on the cross so we could deny our pain. He died on the cross so that we could conquer our pain and face it square on."
Where I have made a mistake in my walk with God is that when I first got saved, I just threw a big spiritual blanket over all the ugly stuff from my past because I thought I was supposed to. No one told me to, I just did it and hopped on board with Christianity all happy and "clean."
I thought that if I needed to face anything it was because I was hanging onto it instead of it hanging onto me. But, hang onto one another we did. For years. And now I'm starting to address it. I've let a lot of things go, but there are still two major areas that still hurt and where I still struggle. The reason why this sentence stuck out to me is because this week I was listening to a podcast from Southland Christian Church and a pastor (Mike Breaux) said this (and I wrote it down):
"Let Him (God) into the muck and mire of your life because then and only then can He pull you out of it."
I've never let God close to these areas of my life and I don't know why. It's too hard. I want Him to heal them from a distance, but what He wants is intimacy. Transparency. Honesty. Brokenness. Trust. He, unlike anyone else, wants IN IT WITH me. He doesn't want my brokenness because He wants some power over me, but because He wants me to be weak enough to let go of it. His power is made perfect in our weakness anyway, so why even try to be strong?
I want to look this thing in the face and say "ok, let's do this." And right about the time it thinks I'm pulling out my sword, I'm just going to drop to my knees while Jesus kills it Vader style. Hand out before Him and the thing withers and chokes. Dead. I did nothing because I CAN DO NOTHING. So for the love of all that is holy, why do I try so hard to fix it on my own? I just end up getting worn out and blaming myself for not being able to fix something I'm incapable of fixing in the first place.
I'm ending with that. The image of Jesus killin' my sin Vader style is in your mind. I can't follow that up with anything.
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