I talk a lot about how messy my spiritual journey has been and how messy my day to day faith is and how that's not only ok, but awesome! It started when I started being transparent with God. You may wonder why I would need to be (I did, too) when He knows every little thing about me, but it's something about the surrender and admittance into Courtney that He loves. Transparency and obedience have been two words running through my head lately...
I've been hearing a lot of that out of other people, too. (psst! even my pastor). I don't know...it feels so good to be messy and ok with it. And to encourage messiness in others. Before my faith was so...clean. Clean because I wanted it that way. Proper. I thought I knew all about it, I knew all the right words to say but I'm sure I wasn't showing the kind of love and forgiveness I was supposed to show. More like pushing ugly things under the table, hiding away my testimony, meaning well but missing the point of it all.
If you feel you're leading this clean, controlled life and you want/need a little bit of a mess to smack you in the face for authenticity's sake:
I'm not saying get messy for the sake of being messy. Messy is kind of popular right now, so be careful. Actually, what looks like chaos to me may seem pretty solid to you. And what peace looks like to me, may look like madness to you. What I'm trying to say is here is what I know:
If you feel you're leading this clean, controlled life and you want/need a little bit of a mess to smack you in the face for authenticity's sake:
ask for it, yo
I'm not saying get messy for the sake of being messy. Messy is kind of popular right now, so be careful. Actually, what looks like chaos to me may seem pretty solid to you. And what peace looks like to me, may look like madness to you. What I'm trying to say is here is what I know:
This is just how He works.
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