Come and see...

Nathanael said to him, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" Philip said to him, "Come and see." (John 1:46 ESV)

"Can anything good come out of Nazareth?"

While reading this morning, I saw this and it reminded me that sometimes we look at people or neighborhoods or countries and think "nope. They're too far gone, what could possibly come from THEM that is good? Lost cause..." (Lord, I pray

 now BREAK ME from that way of thinking when it comes to mind. Help me notice when I think that way about anyone/group. Help me hold those thoughts captive and stop them in their tracks).

YOU, no matter who YOU are, or where you've come from or what you've done...

YOU
LACK
NOTHING
IN JESUS

What good can come from you who have come from addiction and abuse and a bad neighborhood and abandonment and pain? Your testimony. Which glorifies your Father. WHICH CHANGES LIVES. I firmly believe that your past usually dictates in what area you'll serve in the future. THE WORLD NEEDS YOU. Not "people like you" but YOU!

Until the day you die on earth, you will have the opportunity to change the world. So what good can come from where you've been? SHOW THEM

***

And in reading more of John, I see that Jesus only needs to tell a few people in each area before He moves on. He know the word of their testimony holds the power of the One (Jesus) who made it possible. 

When he heals one, the whole household is saved. When he stays in an area two days, they all come to know Him. 

TESTIMONY is so powerful! I guess if He did it all Himself what would have happened when He was gone? 

TELL SOMEONE YOUR TESTIMONY TODAY! Be vulnerable. Be transparent. Do it all in love!

November 29th - the first day of Isaac and Courtney

I had vowed to not date anyone for a year and *almost* made it, but this boy asked me out while trying on shoes at the mall (while his sisters mysteriously disappeared). I thought "what the heck? I don't have to "date him" date him, I can just go on a date with him" We ended up kissing BEFORE our first date and held hands like we'd been dating ten years ON our first date! haha And that was it.

 I told him around 6 months into it, I needed to KNOW we were supposed to get married, even though I felt I'd just die without him. What I meant was that I was a new baby Christian and I realized I needed to make sure this was the man God meant to be my forever man. He was such a gentleman and stepped back while I prayed and I really DEMANDED that God tell me it was Isaac. God, also the gentleman, let me rant and rave until finally I was spent and told Him "I know I'm not supposed to be asking for signs all the time, but You know what I need to hear so shut me up long enough so I can hear it."

 I looked up the word "love" in the concordance of my Bible and it said "Isaac" in Genesis. I was like "ummmm ok God that can't be You because that's pretty obvious," so I looked up the most romantic book of the Bible Song of Solomon. When I opened to that book in my Bible, Isaac had written a note on a little scrap of paper I'd never seen before that said "Courtney, I love you." A tremendous peace fell upon me them and I realized I was so scared that God was going to say "He's not the one" (because I was just madly in love with him) that I didn't want to seek out the answer. BTW, I didn't last a week of searching this out, it was about three days haha!

I am so grateful for the stress of that week because knowing and I mean KNOWING that we are meant to be together, with NO doubts, makes any hard times we go through less…hard. I know there is a permanence with him and the covenant we've made to one another withstands anything. So I have no worries he'll pick up and leave one day. He wouldn't have been promised to me if there was anything we couldn't get through together. 

Our first date was Outback and then to WalMart to buy my mom an extension cord, but by then it felt like we already knew it was forever. I love you Isaac and I'm so thankful we've had WAY more good times than bad and that YOU'VE been the one to show me Jesus like no one else. The fact that it's you, my husband is so sweet!

Obedience when you can't hear a command

I've learned a lot about being obedient to God this year. It unlocks so much (trust, understanding, vision, my future...)

But, what about when I'm willing to obey, but I have no idea what He wants from me?  I'm at a point where I have to decide something, answer a question I can't hear, follow a voice that seems to be too quiet.

I guess I'll continue to be willing and keep seeking. I tend to find Him more in the questions than answers anyway.

There's an All Sons and Daughters song that sings "Lord, I find you in the seeking/ Lord, I find you in the doubt."

That's me.

So, what now God? How do I obey a voice I can't hear?

IF and YET

 IF and YET

I'm convinced that the whole reason I had a short season working was so God could get me to sit down and shut up long enough to hear from Him.  I spent hours listening to Celebration Church, Missio Dei and Southland Christian Church podcasts while I typed away at work.  I took pages of notes and now I want to share something really cool inspired by Mike Breaux from Southland. 

Jesus prayed to His father, in Matthew 26

“My Father, IF it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. 

YET not as I will, but as you will.”

IF there is any other way
YET Your will be done

The IF says "I know another way (my way) is possible"  The YET says "but I trust your love/perspective/plan/view from above/your ways that are higher/your wisdom that is better/your love that runs deeper."  My personal prayer would sound like this:

Abba, look at this!  See all of these other ways for this to be accomplished?????  This, this and that and over there and back here????  Do you see them?  I would love to do it that way.  

But

I'm willing to do it whatever way you tell me to because I trust your perspective.  I want what is best for the kingdom.  I want to glorify you.  

This (whatever I want or seek) is what I want to see happen
Yet...not MY will, but YOURS


The YET brings freedom and peace. The YET is true surrender.  The YET lets you lay down your independence and deeply rely on Him


Today, as you go on your way, I pray that you have this attitude with God.  The times when we can SEE the whys and hows are amazing.  But let God work in the times when it's not easy.  Trust His Spirit.  Give him lots of YETS. I think Jesus is showing us that God wants conversation with us, but we need that attitude of surrender.

Some thoughts on soap, Fight Club and feet washin'

I was in the bath tub and thinking about...soap.  Wonder why?  Hmmm...  Anyway, I was thinking about how when you use it, it doesn't just mask smells and cover up dirt, it takes them away.  Now, I don't know the technical side of soap (aside from what I learned in Fight Club) but just off the top of my head, I know some things.

1.  It goes directly on the dirt

John 13:5 

he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

2.  You don't remove the dirt then apply the soap

1 John 1:7

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

3. You smell so good, people sometimes even notice!!!

In 2 Cor 2 somewhere between 12 and 17, The Word says He

"uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing"

Pastor Steve often tells us to smell like Jesus.  Are ya making that connection???  So now comes applying that madness up there to our life.  Don't wait to come to Jesus or the church until AFTER you have your mess cleaned up. It's never going to happen.  You'll never get it cleaned up, even if it looks sort of pretty.  

Isaiah 64:6 says All of us have become like one who is unclean,  and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf,  and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

The BEST WE GOT, is like filthy rags.  Why not just let Him wash over us, remove the parts of our lives that are hurting us, and make us smell so good that people want to know what we use.  

Tv preachers and Jesus killin' like Darth Vader

I was getting ready to leave for church and had a few minutes.  While flipping through the channels, a phrase caught my attention.  I don't even remember what it was, but I kept listening.  It was a guy named Jimmy Evans who teaches on marriage solutions and what not.  I don't know much about him, but he seemed funny and genuine (well, as much as I could tell...it WAS tv...)  

Then, he started speaking TRUTH.  My truth!  Actually, I've never done this EVER, but it's from a series he teaches that I think I'm going to order.  Yes, ORDER, from a TV preacher!  There's a first time for everything...  OK anyway, to get back to my reason for writing, here is what he said that made me stop channel surfing:

"If another person is the problem, then they become the solution."

I don't know why this struck me as profound because, while very true, wise words, I don't struggle with this.  I have no issues with anyone...but wait...do I?  Sigh.  

(I do with Courtney Hutchinson...just a little...but it hasn't been on my mind)

This implies that if we continually blame people for what is their fault (which sounds like a legit way to live), then we rely on them to fix it.  Either by discontinuing to hurt us, apologizing, or leaving our life.  

1.  Some people will never stop hurting us (even if it's you, hurting yourself)
2.  So often, the one hurting us stops hurting us or leaves... but we're still hurt.  

What we (I) need to realize, is that God is the solution.  We need to: Let.  Him.  Solve.  Only he can actually SOLVE it anyway.  Anything else won't last.  


That was a good word and I tucked it away for when I might need it, and then he said: 

"The greatest failures and scars in your life, when given to God, can give the greatest glory to God."

That was another good word.  Makes excellent sense.  My youth pastor (Pastor Jim) always told me that my past was my greatest indication of my future ministry.  It makes sense that the things you've struggled with, were done to you, happened through you, would eventually become a way to show Jesus to the world.  It's your testimony and no one knows it better than you.  You have a testimony just waiting to set someone free.  See Revelation 12:11

But what came next near about rocked my little world.  

"Jesus didn't die on the cross so we could deny our pain.  He died on the cross so that we could conquer our pain and face it square on."

Where I have made a mistake in my walk with God is that when I first got saved, I just threw a big spiritual blanket over all the ugly stuff from my past because I thought I was supposed to.  No one told me to, I just did it and hopped on board with Christianity all happy and "clean."  

I thought that if I needed to face anything it was because I was hanging onto it instead of it hanging onto me.  But, hang onto one another we did.  For years.  And now I'm starting to address it.  I've let a lot of things go, but there are still two major areas that still hurt and where I still struggle.  The reason why this sentence stuck out to me is because this week I was listening to a podcast from Southland Christian Church and a pastor (Mike Breaux) said this (and I wrote it down): 

"Let Him (God) into the muck and mire of your life because then and only then can He pull you out of it."  

I've never let God close to these areas of my life and I don't know why.  It's too hard. I want Him to heal them from a distance, but what He wants is intimacy. Transparency.  Honesty.  Brokenness.   Trust.  He, unlike anyone else, wants IN IT WITH me.  He doesn't want my brokenness because He wants some power over me, but because He wants me to be weak enough to let go of it.  His power is made perfect in our weakness anyway, so why even try to be strong?  

I want to look this thing in the face and say "ok, let's do this."  And right about the time it thinks I'm pulling out my sword, I'm just going to drop to my knees while Jesus kills it Vader style.  Hand out before Him and the thing withers and chokes.  Dead.  I did nothing because I CAN DO NOTHING.  So for the love of all that is holy, why do I try so hard to fix it on my own?  I just end up getting worn out and blaming myself for not being able to fix something I'm incapable of fixing in the first place.  

I'm ending with that.  The image of Jesus killin' my sin Vader style is in your mind.  I can't follow that up with anything.  

anchor tattoos, hope and reality tv

I was on Pinterest today and I noticed there is a tattoo section.  I clicked on it because I LOVE looking at people's tattoos.   I'm a people watcher.  I like reality TV not because of what it is (unreality) but because I like to see what people put out there for the world to see as their truth.  We all know it's not the truth, they know it's not the truth, television knows it's not the truth. No one is being duped.  I just find it interesting what people, knowing full well that others are watching and knowing them based on THIS, put out there.

Anyway, I find tattoos to hold a similar interest for me.  I want the story behind it!  I love seeing what people have etched upon their skin to forever represent a moment in time...for the rest of their lives.  That's what scares me about tattoos.   I'm all for them.  For other people.  But, I stand in the chip aisle at Kroger, unable to just grab a bag and move along.  Decisions just paralyze me.  And to decide for something to permanently be on my body in the same place (plus gravity allowance) for the rest of my life?  I mean, I look back at my prom dresses and hair styles and hate them.

But ya know, I still love my kids' names, so maybe it's more a decision like that than choosing chips or sequenced dance attire.  I'll probably never get a tattoo and Isaac will probably get lots and that's how The Hutchinsons are gonna roll.

The anchor tattoos really stuck out to me.  I KNOW I KNOW everyone has an anchor tattoo and I usually kick the wheel of the bandwagon while it's passing, lest anyone would think I'm jumping on it, but I'd probably choose an anchor.

Here is why.  Hebrews 6:19:

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Isn't that pretty?  I drew a picture of this so that I could fully get it.  SOUL at the top with a string that leads down to an anchor that has hope written across it.  Hope holding my soul steady.

John Piper, in explaining how Christian hope is different from the dictionary's definition of hope, says:

"Christian hope is when God has promised that something is going to happen and you put your trust in that promise. Christian hope is a confidence that something will come to pass because God has promised it will come to pass."

So that Christian hope, that trust in His word, that confidence in Him is the anchor to my soul.  That soul of mine that is prone to daydream and wander.   

So, what does an anchor do?  An anchor holds something steady.  Something that seems big and mighty until you realize it's in the vastness of the ocean.  The anchor doesn't insist the ocean change to accommodate the whim of the ship.  It doesn't even come close to touching the bottom.  It's just a weight, so heavy and positioned in just the right place that the ship doesn't move.  In case you aren't seeing it because of my inability to get this out of my brain and into this blog:   

God is the ocean

I am the ship

Hope is the anchor 

Ship: oh wow look at me, I'm so big compared to everything else (insert "Condescending Wonka Face" here)

God: There is no way to measure me.  I may as well be infinity.  In fact, every drop in this ocean holds infinity.  

Ship:  Oh...

God: Don't get upset now.  Here, let me give you this anchor of hope to hold you steady within me.  Just because I love you...

I think that's why I've always instinctively loved the line in How He Loves "if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking" (see the top of every blog I've ever written...yeah...)  Comparing God to a body of water is always what I go back to.  In fact, the longest poem I've ever written is all about jumping into God, as represented by the ocean.  

Man, the more I write the more I want this tattoo.  I'll probably never do it, but if I ever decide to I'll at least have this written down, right?  

When pain doesn't make sense (which is... ALL THE FLIPPING TIME)

I was flipping through (as I do again and again and again) Sailing Between the Stars by Steven James and I came to this part that gets me every time.  Instead of trying to explain it, I'll just post this page. He's talking about a time in his life when he's trying to figure out pain and its purpose...or lack of purpose.   All of Steven James' words are in red bold.  I'll underline the parts that stood out to me and taught me a lot, as I did in the actual book.

It was all very sensible and logical.  I kept reading and rereading those words, thinking, Okay, then why the heck don't I feel any better?

I think it's because even when we have an answer or an explantation, it isn't enough.  It'll never be enough because it isn't our reason that's suffering; it's our souls.

Pain isn't a premise to be argued.  That's why God didn't send us a syllogisms, but a Savior--one who stepped into the center of our pain and allowed the wounds of the world to be poured into his own heart.  God's love is greater than our pain.  His grace is deeper than our heartache.  And he knows firsthand how hard life on this earth can be.  

Whatever his reason for allowing suffering, God understands what we're going through and can intimately identify with our questions.  He experienced the worst the world had to offer, and now he offers to heal the bruises on our souls with time and grace and glimpses of his love.  

Is this the final answer to why we suffer?  Hardly.  I don't pretend that it is.  But God never auditioned for the role of Answer Giver of the Universe because most of the time it's not even answers that we want.  We want the pain to stop.  Or we want a reason big enough to believe in to help us persevere through the tough times.  Or we want a companion by our side to maneuver with us through the potholes of life.  



That was the part that really got me (we don't want answers really, just just want the pain to stop).  I'll finish this up with the rest of what he has to say about it, which is awesome, too.



So in the end, I'm left with three choices:  1) I can give up on God and tell my heart that he doesn't exist, that he couldn't possibly exist, that life really is as senseless, random, and pointless as it so often appears.  2) I can believe that God does exist but is either too impotent (powerless) to stop the suffering, unaware of the suffering (foolish), unconcerned about those of us who suffer (apathetic), or just plain out to get me (malevolent).  None of these kinds of Gods would be worthy of my worship or my life. 

Or, 3) I can cling to the belief that God really is in control, and really does love me, and really does work good out of both the joys and the hardships, the rights and the wrongs of this world. I can keep leaning on the invisible arm that has supported me in the past and trust that the one who can shape a star on the tip of his tongue can also shape blessings out of my pain.  

Logic only leads me to the place of making a decision: will I believe more in my circumstances or lean more on his love?

In some Christian circles the following verse is used as a cure-all for anything, but the truth that lives in these words is truly powerful and soul-altering:  "We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)  I believe that God can take each of our choices and weave them together into a beautiful symphony.  Even those choices that are notes out of tune can be orchestrated in his hands into something beautiful.  But the score is still being written and the final concert has not yet begun.  

Without God's story at the center of the puzzle, without the overarching narrative of harmony, rebellion, sacrifice, and eventual restoration, we will never be able to make sense of the pain and glory of life.  Hints of his love glimmer in the darkness. The heads of wheat sway in the breeze.  A girl sings in the candlelight.  A father baptizes his daughter.  A lamb cries out from a wooden cross.  A man takes the hand of his dying wife.  A deity weeps 107 times a minute.  A king dances along a golden street singing my name.  

I am nothing-- how could I ever find the answers?  I will put my hand over my mouth in silence. I have said too much already.  I have nothing more to say.  


There is a pic on Pinterest that says "one day this pain will make sense to you."  Sigh.  I didn't believe it, but it was pretty and a pretty thought.  A hopeful one.  One that I can now see can be true, but not always.  Sunday during worship, Jen was talking about how it may be winter for you now, BUT SPRINGTIME IS COMING!  You may not be able to see it, but it's there!  God is with you in the winter as much as the spring.  He speaks to you and holds you in both places.

I speak to you from a place of flower-blooming, fragrance-filled, dancing-through-the-fields, cartwheels-for-no-reason-Spring-time.  I'm still going through stuff but it's different here in the Spring time.  I look back through the pages of my pain and I see now that I HAD to go through it to get here.  Otherwise, I would still be numb.  That pain DID have a purpose, Pinterest!  You were right!  And not only you, oh wise time waster of the internet, but GOD said it.  First.  I'm sure I have a winter coming up, but after you've been through the seasonal change from winter to spring, maybe JUST MAYBE winter won't be so bad because hope can be found there.  Maybe my first winter was to teach me HOW to hope.  I don't know...

Below are just a few examples of pain and suffering and what it means for Christians (and proof that pain happens, you can expect it) He disciplines us, the world hurts us, we hurt ourselves... there is plenty of time of pain, but when we persevere, we are taught endurance..  And wee will find ourselves IN HEAVEN ONE DAY!  The most amazing thing to ponder EVER.  Keep going.  It won't always be like this.

2 Cor 4:7-11 
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ⁸ We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;¹⁰ always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. ¹¹ For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ¹² Sodeath is at work in us, but life in you.

 2 Cor 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Romans 5:3-5
 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵ and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Hebrews 12:10-11
For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. ¹¹ For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

2 Cor 4:17
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison

The American Dream...it's not for me

Toward the end of bible study last night, Pastor Steve talked about the American Dream and how maybe (definitely) it's not what we should be striving for.  The following is an email I sent to him after church:

Pastor Steve,

Before we came to Celebration, Isaac had picked up Radical by David Platt and that's when we starting thinking about what you were talking about tonight: the American Dream and how it's ruining us (Isaac was WAY more open to it, than I was...I thought it was just another Christian "we're doing this wrong" book).  We had been seeking it out.  We did radically change then (Isaac more than me and we still have a ways to go, but we're moving in the right direction).  

Before, we felt almost entitled BECAUSE we were American even though we didn't have anything to do with that.  We were just born here, we didn't earn it.   

Makes a TON of sense, I know... blah.  It was the first time you talked about it that I felt that Isaac and I were on the same page.  The first time that I wasn't like "oh crap, Isaac is hearing this.  This is going to start something.  He's going to get all amped up and quit his job or something stupid"  or "thank you Jesus Isaac isn't here to hear this" or "STOP PASTOR STEVE, this makes me nervous and I don't want to be accountable for THIS!"     

I mean, you talk about it a lot.  (thankfully)  I don't know if you realize that, but you throw it in here and there often, which is AMAZING because it seems no one is talking about it.  All we had ever done was SEEK OUT OUR BLESSING, we deserve it because blah, blah, blah.  Through your blessing you'll find God, instead of... just find God.  But, we're finding him.  TRULY finding Him.  Something has clicked.  

I am FINALLY getting to the point of emailing you.  On the way home I was getting Ash out of the car seat and he asked, "mommy, does this keep me safe?" and to make it click for him (pun intended) I said, "of course it does, you can't get hurt if you're strapped in...now if you get out while the car is moving, you'll definitely get hurt."  

kahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhBOOM

Instantly, I knew that the American Dream is our seat belt.  

It's not a huge revelation, I guess...well, at least not a prophecy or anything and anyone could have come up with, but I  knew it was God because the whole thought pattern was instantly in my head as if I'd been pondering the analogy for a while.  

The seat belt is our American Dream and we think as long as we're buckled in, we're good.  We know deep down that a piece of wood could come crashing through the window, impaling us and our seat belt wouldn't make a lick of difference, but we like to ignore that part and keep saying "we're so safe!  These seat belts are going to save us! Thank God for these seat belts" instead of just "thank you God, you are good, I trust you because you're You not because you'll keep me safe in this world...but because you're equipping me to bring more souls to YOUR world.  Seat belts and car seats be darned, God I just need you!  I'll surf on top of this car while it's moving if it'll glorify you more!!!!"  

Another reason that I know it's God is because man, I had stuff to do!  I had to pee and let the dog in and get the kids ready for bed and make sure Ash peed and plug in my phone.  And NONE of that got done.  It seems silly b/c it really isn't that big of a revelation, and it's stuff you ALREADY SAID I just knew I was supposed to tell you and I've learned not to question that.  

When it's instant, for me, it's God.  

Have you ever had that kind of thing happen?  It's like instead of thinking thoughts in your head they're all laid out for you in advance and all you have to do is follow them to see where they lead.  They're not your thoughts!  That means...  they're someone else's ;)   Sometimes it comes out in my writing. I'll write a poem and then LEARN FROM IT!  God is crazy cool. 

Thanks for everything,
Courtney 

I love America. I love dreams.  But put those words together and you get an idea that we've latched onto that has sort of duped us.  If you're a Christian, you seek, seek, seek, and achieve, achieve, achieve and if you finally get there (the American Dream), it often ends in complacency.  The opposite of radical love.  

If you aren't a Christian and you seek, seek, seek and achieve, achieve, achieve until you make it to the American Dream, then what?   What does it mean?  Security?  That sounds good, I'll admit, I'd LOVE to feel secure, but really I just want to be content...in any and all situations.  If you seek that Dream as your end all, what if you lose it?  Christian or not?  Where is your purpose????

Maybe when you say American Dream, you really mean something other than what I'm saying, I don't know.  But question yourself.  I want to help people.  Not because I'm good, I'm not.  

I AM CALLED  

We all are.  Stop for a minute today and ask yourself about your goals in life.  Ask yourself if what you're striving for will really make you happy, anyway.  Ask yourself if all of this work to get wherever you want to get IS WORTH IT.  Maybe you'll say yes, but if you say maybe then start seeking.  

I just had some deep thoughts in the shower (where they always come to me, no joke haha)  I was thinking about how people should admit their strengths more often.  Not in a "way to go, me" way but just acknowledge them to themselves.  We're so down on ourselves so often, so I made myself come up with three of my own.

For example, I am really good at saying no.  I'm also pretty good at not having too much to do, if I feel stressed, I just hole up in the house with my little family and regroup.   I never have to pencil in time for that, I'm just really good at making sure it happens.  (ok with any of these strengths too far in the wrong direction can be bad.  Sometimes, I hole up TOO much to escape, so there is definitely a balance).

This all led to me think that I'm also pretty good at remaining in awkward silences (especially when people are hurting).  You just never know what thoughts are coming together in that silence, what God is speaking to that person in that silence that you think will go on and on forever.  If you speak to just fill it, he/she may miss an important moment or a revelation.

The point of all this, is that I'm challenging you today to sit with someone in their silence.  Don't talk to fill it up, don't immediately jump to how that somehow relates to YOUR life, just sit with them awhile.  Don't miss it!  Silence is ok, but we live in this world where we want to fill up every second with something.  (I'm the worst).  

 When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.  -Henri Nouwen

Please, please hear me

Today, I was listening to an amazing podcast of a church service that I missed on 8/5/12.  Please, please look up this podcast.  There are two parts (DON'T miss the 2nd part).  If you're in iTunes, search "Celebrate Something Real" and maybe add Huntington, WV.  The title is Grace Vol. 10 and it was posted on 9/14

What spoke to me the most in this message was toward the end.  Pastor Steve said (I'm paraphrasing a little):

God is not winking at our sins.  God isn't looking over your sin.  God is looking through Jesus to your sin and saying 'there is an answer, you don't have to be a slave to that.'  The grace of God will set you free.  

I don't even know where else to go in this blog except to plead with you to listen to this whole message.  A part in the beginning that I loved was when he said (again paraphrasing a little): 

The reason why we can't see how unsearchably rich God is, is because we're drunk.  Not on alcohol, but on the world (even good things that are just distractions).  The Word of God says to stay sober.  

There's nothing I can do to get the point across of this whole message and how it fits together for you, from God, I just want you to hear it!  I've never felt this desperate to get  a message of love and grace to the world like this!  

Even if you think you'll hate it, just go check it out.

Much love,

C

Sing it!!!

I was listening to a song called Sing It by Josh Wilson (video at bottom of page) and several thoughts came to mind.  If God places a song in our hearts, it's because he wants to hear us sing it.  (so #1 is to glorify him)  Confidently,  whole heartedly, maybe even running with your arms wide open!  How free does THAT sound?

Take what he has given you and belt it out!  He doesn't want it to remain dormant.  And it's not for you anyway (#2 it's for building up others). Others need to hear your song, so quit being prideful-even when that looks like scared-and SING IT!  When we allow others' songs to build us up, we see how important our music is for the kingdom of God.  So, don't stop.  Don't stop singing, but don't stop meeting.  We need you!  

Here are some scriptures references about how/why it's important to all meet together and bring our gifts (songs) to build one another up. 

1 Peter 4:10-11

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Romans 12:4-5

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Romans 14:19

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Ephesians 4:14-16

 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Psalm 133:1

Behold, how good and pleasant it is

    when brothers dwell in unity!

Josh Wilson Sing It

http://youtu.be/iXdVD9foAg4

Confession time.

I don't like story time at the library. I go as far as looking up the times, but never go.

I don't plan meals (honestly I WISH I did)

I never take my kids to the park.

Sometimes I choose doing dishes over spending time with the kids because I just can't take one more person talking at me.

I escape to the bath tub, even if I don't need a bath because it's harder to be bothered in there. It's a good excuse. I'm a person that needs spurts of solid alone time. But not too much or I get nervous. A daily bath is good for this.

I like being indoors...outdoors not so much. I use mosquitos as an excuse to go back inside.

I don't know why, but I dread practices of any kind (violin, gymnastics) and all day long, I think about it until it's over. I just don't understand the mind of a sports mom, but I sure wish I had some of their enthusiasm! For real..

I love planning parties, but hate executing them.

I can literally eat a WHOLE bag of chips in one sitting.

Half an hour after my morning coffee, I feel like superwoman and that I could handle another couple of kids...then Asher fills a cup with juice and puts all of his Legos in it and while I'm cleaning that up he punches the dog and while I'm addressing that, the dog poops and...well...I come back crashing down.

If I don't see the bills they don't exist.

I've become a procrastinator but I didn't used to be.

Sometimes I yearn to work again and sometimes I take advantage of staying home to just be lazy.

Sometimes I "let" Zoe play extra long because I just don't feel like dealing with homework.

I feel like a bad mom a lot of the time.

I still think I'm a pretty good mom.

Thank you God for grace. And thank you God all of these don't happen everyday at the same time!!!! This may have seemed like a downer blog, but it's good to get it out sometimes, right?

Opportunity to choose

We had a bible study a while back and Alyson Johnson (14 and crazy wise beyond her years) asked a question.  She pondered about the fact that God made Adam and Eve and God and Adam and Eve had the perfect relationship with Him.  So, then HOW was it possible for them to ever have even THOUGHT of disobeying God.  How did that way of thinking even enter into their perfection?

Now that is a good question.  The sort of question you have to be smart to even ask.  That's the type of question that you don't even think to ask while you're busy studying the specific fruit that was eaten by Adam and Even for 40 years of your life while the most important questions lay unasked in your mind.

Anyway, that was a few months back, but just recently I was rereading the story of Adam and Eve (I've been stuck there, blissfully because I love it, for about a year and a half...I've written other blogs about it, written a very long poem about them and love to hear about them).  It's the beginning, ya know?  Our genesis.

Wow, I keep getting sidetracked.  I started to think about her question, too.  Pastor Steve, along with everyone in the bible study offered amazing insight into this and I left with new knowledge of the same Word I've been reading over and over.  I love that.  I was reading the account of what happened (found in Genesis 2) and I think that it was always meant to be this way.  I don't think they were always MEANT to eat of the fruit, God wanted them for Him (bad grammar, but it rhymed).  But he KNEW it would happen.

So, when did that thought enter their minds? That's my real question...

God gave Adam instruction and said, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat."

After this instruction and providing Adam with a helper, the serpent enters.  What I noticed (I'm FINALLY getting to it) is that only after God gives them instruction, after He gives them a chance to disobey, after he gives them a choice, does the serpent slither in.  He was always there, but we'd never heard anything about him until after these two things happened.  Choice and helpmate.

And (sigh) when there is a choice, there is a wrong choice.  Even when it's obvious (ya know...like booming-voice-of-God-obvious) there's a wrong one.  God always intended for his children to choose, because He yearned for us to choose Him!  But sometimes in just having a choice, we make ourselves little gods and get really high on making the decision.

But...God had to provide the chance to choose.

AND THAT, my friends, is when we see evil enter the scene.  As soon as God gave a rule, the evil one knew that He could possibly turn them to death.

The serpent is at home within your choices.  

I think what I learned from this and I hope you do too, is that the serpent always enters into a chance/choice/opportunity/rule.  If you are making a decision, try to recognize that God is with you and the serpent is close by.  Whispering doubts about your ability to follow the road that you know takes you to righteousness.  The serpent doesn't care if you take the wrong direction or the almost right direction, there is just ONE road he doesn't want you traveling and that is the road where you follow the still, small voice of your Creator, your Father, your Lover.  

The One who knows what's best for you and while He's already seen you make the wrong decision is begging you not to, anyway!  The One who formed you with the dirt of the planet where the enemy lives, and then breathed HIS BREATH into HIS CREATION.

God is love and He loves us.  

Love loves us!!!!  Are you getting it?  And even as we make the wrong decisions over and over and over, He loves us and fights for us.

***

I have one question that I haven't really thought through yet and I'll stick it here at the end with all of my rambling thoughts surrounding it.  It's probably actually the same question that Alyson asked except in a different format, but I'll ask it anyway because I LOVE discovering the Word all over again.


***Why was the tree of knowledge even there to begin with?  To offer a choice in itself?  For God's children to be forced to choose between knowing God or knowing knowledge?  If so, then we've failed.  Sometimes whole churches have failed, in that they seek knowledge instead of just seeking God and FINDING HIM!  I want knowledge, but I don't want it more than God.  I like knowledge, but I YEARN for my Father***

Climb the mountain with your hands wide open

Forgive the grammatical mistakes, I just need to get this out.

I was listening to a song on my phone, ear buds in, relaxing on the couch and suddenly some words popped into my head.  It was sort of visionary or something, like I was half dreaming.  Thought I'd share.  (BTW, this does NOT mean that I will do this one day, obviously, because I'm telling you now...I don't know why I saw it but I would ONLY share if I felt that I was supposed to...and I do).

It was during praise and worship at church and I had a microphone and was telling the congregation to hold their hands out in front of them and look at their palms.  To then visualize whatever problems they've been carrying around and can't let go of.  To look their problems square in the face and... face them.  Then, to raise their hands in the air and turns their palms out, away from them.  That was the way they'd let the problem go.  I asked them to see their problems/issues/addictions/whatever being swept away by a strong wind.  I was saying "no one will take these problems from you.  If you want them gone, you have to figure out a way to release your grip on them, lift them up and let them go.  This is on you right now."  Sounds harsh, but I wasn't even second guessing myself.  I was just saying it.

Then, (I don't know who I was speaking to), I was telling someone that even though they had let most of their problems go, that one problem they couldn't/wouldn't deal with had now taken on the weight of all of the problems combined that they had before.  It was because their hands had gotten used to holding a specific weight and until all of the weight was gone, none of the weight would be gone.

Maybe (just, maybe) I was talking to myself, who knows.  But we were singing a specific song that of course has words that go along with these thoughts, in a way.

The song is called Climb by Will Reagan and United Pursuit.  The lyrics and video are at the bottom, I highly encourage you to listen to the song, read the lyrics and search your heart to see what you can't release.

Imagine climbing the mountain (whatever big thing you're getting ready to do) with your hands wide open!!!  With nothing holding you back!  And maybe God won't let you NEAR that mountain until you've held your hands wide open before Him saying "take this, remove it from my life, I can't climb holding onto it"  I need grip.

Surrender.  Obey what He says to do next.

As you go to your church tomorrow and meet with your church family, lift up your hands and say "God, I give this to you!"  Prepare today by asking Him to search your heart and reveal to you what you need to let go of, if you don't already know.  Spend today in prayer reflecting and praising Him and thanking Him that tomorrow you will be brand new all over again.  Ready to face whatever mountain is coming.  You can't do this.  But when HE is in you, YOU LACK NOTHING.  

 Mark 9:23 

"'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

Climb by Will Reagan and United Pursuit I lean not on my own understanding My life is in the hands of the Maker of heaven I give it all to You God trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me There's nothing I hold on to There's nothing I hold on to There's nothing I hold on to There's nothing I hold on to I WILL CLIMB THIS MOUNTAIN WITH MY HANDS WIDE OPEN  (repeat, repeat, repeat...) Here is the song:  http://youtu.be/vLPb7bfT2rg